Just Kids…?

On the drive to the Farm from Montreal yesterday afternoon, I listened to a CBC interview from five years ago (we’re in holiday rerun season) with great interest and something like relief. Eleanor Wachtel was talking to Patti Smith in Toronto, where she had an exhibit of her photos, I think..? Or maybe it was because of the award she’d won for her last book? Either way, it was an engaging conversation between two very smart and accomplished women who I admire.

Near the end of the interview, Smith hesitated while replying that although she’d love to be able to say it was wonderful working with her two children, they actually made fun of her shortcomings as a guitarist – she sounded hurt and embarrassed. Then she fudged a bit and said but no, it was great working with them, etc, etc. A reworking of her first gut reaction. Oy, did I empathise….

I was raised by two brilliant minds and a mother who could do Everything, so I believed my parents were omniscient and infallible – they certainly had all the power –  and rebelliousness was my own personal failing. It took me ages to see them as whole and complex people rather than cardboard role models. I think this is likely true of many generations of us…

So, as is our wont, I tried to do something else when I became a parent, raising my own kids as equals, destined to surpass me in all ways. When they were little, I made it clear that I had to keep them safe and teach them what I knew about the world as it had presented itself to me, but that they needed to connect to and trust their own inner guidance and wisdom. They were “unschooled”, staying home and learning according to their interests and abilities, but most importantly, remaining curious.

I only realised later that what is learned at home is absorbed without our necessarily being conscious of being taught, so many of the skills that I worked to teach my children, they feel they just innately Know, and they know much better than I…  They are all amazing, knowledgeable, creative people who do know lots of things that I don’t. Surrounded by the four of them, though, I feel spotlighted for what I do not know and am unable to do, especially as I’m getting older and apparently on the brink of decrepitude… My feeling of worth has to come from heart-connections with others, from sensing the shifting Earth energies when I do ceremony – they have to come, in fact, from that inner Knowing that I’ve tried to nourish in my kids. Ironic, I guess…

Smith – I’m going to call her Patti out of kinship – left NYC and her musical career at its peak to live and raise her kids in the mid-west. She says it pisses her off when people accuse her of doing nothing during that time – she took care of her husband, raised her children, and continued writing anyway. A little defensively, she said that this was a period in which she grew a lot as a person and was perhaps at her most creative.

But “just a mom” has been scrawled on our foreheads in indelible ink, scratched deep with knives and forks and laundry detergent into our hearts and minds… it’s no wonder our kids believe it, too.

Patti, I feel you…

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Collateral Damage: the Culture of Christianity

Hither & Yon...

Written in October, 2010, first titled: “Duality and Sexuality: The Law of the Jungle”

(This text may have been written based on my experiences in Costa Rica and Quebec, but it pertains equally well to any cultural and religious context that has its foundation in the suppression of the Feminine)

Over the past 2 weeks, I have had the honour of touching so many people here in Costa Rica, their lives and stories filling my heart and belly with the history of this land that I love so much.

I am told that someone has decided on the basis of statistics that Latin Americans are the most sexually well-adjusted people on the planet. Oh dear…Perhaps this mess is a harbinger of “the only way out is up”, and Costa Rica – along with all the other places on earth where the Catholic Church has cut its wide swath…

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The Crumbling of the Pyramids, the Rising of Humanity

Hither & Yon...

Take 4…

London Bridge is falling down                                                                                                           Falling down, falling down                                                                                                               London Bridge is falling down                                                    …

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Written in 2012…still relevant…

Hither & Yon...

This was first published in “The Heretic” magazine in November, 2012, and then again on this site at the end of 2013. Although the historical context was different, it is still pertinent – perhaps even more so than before.

On this side of the Pond, where feverish electoral competition reigns over the airwaves, billboards and kitchen tables throughout all three countries of North America, it is hard to ignore the renewed communal debate with respect to victims in general…

Women like me, “of a certain age”, look at each other in disbelief – we thought we’d already fought and won these battles ages ago! And yet…perhaps we shouldn’t be so surprised…

A growing refugee population forms waves of nomadic humanity fleeing the violence of nature or society – wherever they land, these people are generally faced with hardship and xenophobia.

University students have historically been a major force for change…

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La COMMUNAUTÉ et l’ASCENSION: signification et manifestation

Dans le ciel dégagé au dessus de Heartroot, Mars scintille, grand, rouge et coquin, nous rappelant qui a été en charge ces jours-ci. Nous avons la chance de faire l’expérience de tout ce qui irrite, dérange et exaspère, de près et de personnel. Des choses qui hibernent dans nos cellules, manipulant inconsciemment nos réactions depuis notre enfance, se réveillent et prennent conscience. Les configurations les plus miraculeuses de personnes et d’événements sont tissées pour recréer et stimuler des souvenirs difficiles qu’on a tellement essayé de nier ou d’oublier.
Mars est rejoint par six de ses frères dans un état rétrograde: Jupiter, Saturne, Pluton, Neptune, Uranus et Mercure semblent tous reculer dans les cieux, donc malgré la chaleur, essayer de manifester quelque chose de nouveau ressemble à de la mélasse en janvier.
Les températures mortellement élevées ralentissent tout sauf les incendies – nous sommes collés aux climatiseurs, aux ventilateurs ou à tout endroit humide ou ombragé.
C’est l’été, cependant, et nous, les habitants du Nord, nous le célébrons férocément. Très présent dans nos pensées est le froid, déjà au rendez-vous. J’ai compté cinq décapotables rouges dans le parking Metro de Megantic l’autre jour!
Quelques réflexions ont émergé des enseignements et des méditations ces derniers temps.

Le premier concernait les sentiments-croyances résiduels que nous avons à propos de la communauté. L’unité du village, particulièrement ici au Canada et ailleurs où la Nature sauvage est très présent, a été créée par peur. Nous avions besoin de vivre tous collés ensembles pour nous soutenir et nous protéger les uns les autres de l’hiver, des animaux sauvages, des anglais, des français, des indiens… tout ce dont nous avions peur. Lorsque nous maintenons une position de protection, avec le temps la méchanceté s’ensuit. Une image que j’ai chez moi s’appelle Le Cercle Protecteur: il s’agit de bisons mâles, en cercle avec leurs extrémités pointues faisant face de manière menaçante vers l’extérieur. Dans le cercle, nous pouvons imaginer que ce sont les plus âgées, les femelles et les jeunes. Il a toujours été évident pour moi que si le “cercle de protection” est maintenu trop longtemps, la merde va tomber sur celles qui sont “protégées” … Dans un village, ce sont les commérages, les coups dans le dos, le savoir et le jugement des affaires de tout le monde qui sont  notoirement endommageantes , et la raison pour laquelle beaucoup ont fui pour l’anonymat et la liberté apparente de la grande ville.
Nous avons un appel aigu, cependant, vers la communauté – nous sommes des créatures sociales. Que se passe-t-il si nous ne nous réunissons plus dans la crainte d’un ennemi commun, mais plutôt pour célébrer une communauté de résonance et de but commun?
À Heartroot, les gens arrivent souvent en attente de quelque chose comme un village, et  me demandent «Alors, où est la communauté?» Ma première réaction est d’attirer leur attention sur les arbres, les animaux et les pierres. La Communauté de Vie – de Toutes Nos Relations – nous entoure! La partie humaine de notre communauté est un flux d’individus et de familles qui entrent et sortent de la Ferme lorsqu’ils en ressentent le besoin. Il y a beaucoup de gens autour de la planète qui se sentent liés à Heartroot par leur travail avec moi, bien qu’ils ne soient jamais venus ici, et ceux qui se connectent consciemment par la méditation et la prière chaque fois qu’ils sont appelés à le faire. Je le ressens comme un processus organique et l’observe avec une curiosité et une émerveillement qui ne cesse de croître!
(J’ai fait un appel pour un rassemblement de la communauté Heartroot pour l’équinoxe d’automne cette année – venez nous rejoindre! (http://heartroot.com/school-for-reclaiming-the-arts-of-incarnation-lecole-pour-reclamer-les-arts-de-lincarnation/)

L’autre question qui se pose est celle de cette Ascension qui est sur tant de lèvres. Qu’est-ce que cela signifie vraiment? Le jour de l’Ascension de Mère Marie est célébré le 15 août, mais je crois comprendre que le processus qu’elle a suivi et celui auquel nous sommes confrontés ces jours-ci ne sont pas du tout les mêmes. Il y a environ 2000 ans, la Terre et les corps humains créés d’elle résonnaient d’une fréquence vibratoire beaucoup moins élevéé. Depuis que Schumann a commencé à mesurer la fréquence de l’ionosphère dans les années ’50, il a tenu bon à 7,83 Hz … jusqu’au 31 janvier 2017, date à laquelle il a dépassé les 36 Hz! (https://www.drjoedispenza.com/blog/consciousness/what-does-the-spike-in-the-schumann-resonance-mean/)
L’image qui me vient à l’esprit est celle de l’eau saupoudrée sur une poêle chaude – elle fait pfffffft, et disparaît. Nous savons maintenant que les molécules d’eau absorbent de l’énergie supplémentaire sous forme de chaleur et passent de l’état liquide à l’état gazeux. Nos corps sont principalement faits d’eau. Je crois que lorsque notre fréquence vibratoire augmente, nous finissons par devenir invisibles au spectre limité de la vision «ordinaire». Nos corps peuvent maintenant contenir des fréquences beaucoup plus élevées, et à part de cela, beaucoup d’entre nous deviennent capables de voir des domaines d’existence plus subtils. Nous n’allons plus au Ciel, nous apportons plutôt le Ciel sur Terre, incarné dans les domaines physiques.
L’ascension n’est pas si différente de ce que nous connaissons de la réalité 3D, sauf que la Conscience imprègne chaque instant. Synchronicités, magie et miracles deviennent la chaîne et la trame de nos réalités et nous reapprenons les arts de la manifestation – de l’incarnation. (http://heartroot.com/school-for-reclaiming-the-arts-of-incarnation-lecole-pour-reclamer-les-arts-de-lincarnation/)

Beaucoup d’entre nous sont déjà là, existant de façon multidimensionnelle alors que nous nourrissons le chat, payons les factures et faisons le lavage!

Béni soit-on!


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“COMMUNITY” and “ASCENSION”: meaning and manifestation

In the clearclear skies over Heartroot, Mars twinkles, big, red and saucy, reminding us who’s been in charge these days. We’re getting the chance to experience everything that still irritates, niggles and infuriates, close-up and personal. Stuff that has been hibernating in our cells, unconsciously manipulating our reactions since childhood, is awakening and streeeeetching into awareness. The most miraculous configurations of people and events are woven to recreate and stimulate difficult memories – one’s we’ve tried SO hard to deny or forget.

Mars is joined by six of his sibs gone retrograde: Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto, Neptune, Uranus and Mercury all seem to be moving backward in the Heavens, so despite the heat, trying to manifest anything new feels like molasses in January.

Deadly high temperatures actually slow everything down but the wildfires – we’re glued to air conditioners, fans or anywhere wet or shady.

It’s summer, though, and we northern dwellers are busily celebrating it – something in us feels the cold weather already lurking around the corner. I counted five red convertibles in the Metro parking lot in Megantic the other day!

A couple of reflections have come out of teachings and meditations lately.

The first was about residual belief-feelings that we have about Community. The village unit, especially here in Canada and elsewhere where Wilderness is so very present, was created out of fear. We needed to live together in a clump to support and protect each other from Winter, wild animals, The English, The French, The Indians… all the things we were frightened of. When we maintain a position of protection over time, nastiness ensues. An image I have in my home is called The Protecting Circle: it is of male bison, in a circle with their pointy ends facing menacingly outward. Inside the circle, we surmise, are the elderly, the females and the young. It has always been evident to me that if the “protective circle” is held too long, the crap will all fall on those that are being “protected”… In a village, it’s the gossip, the back-stabbing, the knowing and judging of everybody else’s business that are infamously damaging, and the reason many fled for the anonymity and seeming freedom of the Big City.

We have an aching, though, for Community – we’re social critters. What happens if we no longer gather in fear of a common Enemy, but rather to celebrate a commonality of resonance and purpose?

At Heartroot, people often arrive expecting something like a village, and puzzle “So where’s the Community?” My first reaction is to draw their attention to the trees and animals and stones – the Community of Life, of All Our Relations, surrounds us! The human part of our Community is a flow of individuals and families in and out of the Land as they feel the need. There are many people around the planet who feel connected to Heartroot through their work with me, though they’ve never been here, and those who consciously connect through meditation and prayer whenever called to do so. I feel this as an organic process and observe it with a curiosity and wonder that keeps on growing!

(I’ve called a Gathering of the Heartroot Community for the Autumn Equinox this year – come join us!  http://heartroot.com/event/heartroot-community-gathering-for-the-autumn-equinox-rassemblement-de-la-communaute-de-heartroot-pour-lequinoxe-dautomne/ )

The other question that has been coming up is about this Ascension that is on so many lips. What does it mean, really? The Ascension Day of Mother Mary is celebrated on August 15, but my understanding is that the process she went through and the one facing us these days are not at all the same. 2000-odd years ago, Earth and the human bodies created of her were resonating at a much lower frequency. Since Schumann started measuring the frequency of the ionosphere in the 50’s, it held fast at 7.83 Hz…until January 31, 2017, when it jumped to over 36 Hz! (https://www.drjoedispenza.com/blog/consciousness/what-does-the-spike-in-the-schumann-resonance-mean/)

The image that comes to my mind it that of water sprinkled on a hot skillet – it goes pffffft and disappears. We now know that the water molecules absorb extra energy in the form of heat, and change state from liquid to gas. We are mostly made of water. I believe that as our vibrational frequency rises, we eventually become invisible to the limited spectrum of ‘ordinary’ sight. Our bodies now can hold much higher frequencies, and at the same time more and more of us are becoming capable of seeing into subtler realms of existence. We aren’t going Up to Heaven, we’re instead bringing Heaven to Earth, incarnate in the physical realms.

Ascension doesn’t look or feel much different than what we know of 3D reality, except that Consciousness pervades every moment. As our belief in limitations dissolves, synchronicities, magic and miracles become the warp and weft of our realities and we relearn the arts of manifestation – of incarnation. ( http://heartroot.com/school-for-reclaiming-the-arts-of-incarnation-lecole-pour-reclamer-les-arts-de-lincarnation/)

Many of us are there already, existing multidimensionally as we feed the cat, pay the bills and do the laundry!

Blessèd Be..!


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Whither Bodhisattva?

I’m in a particularly foul mood right now, and the wiser course might be to remove myself from all modes of self-expression until the dust settles. But that’s not gonna happen… I think I’ll blame it on Mars going retrograde.

The immediate thorn is that I just got off a call with (yet another) pompous white guy. This one was offended that I was not fawning sufficiently at his Transcendent Beingness, and suggested that I really ought to be doing what the 122 people before me (at around 100 British pounds for 30 minutes, although “most” had booked an entire hour!) had apparently done, and thank him profusely/abjectly for his clarity and insight and wonderfulness, then ask, mouth appropriately agape, “How DO you Do it?”

The problem is that I was not really that impressed with what I’d heard and read. A few phrases he used had caught my ear, as I have used them myself, and I figured this might be a sign that there was more for me to learn. Not from him, really, but from the entities that I thought would be present and active during the conversation.

After his snit about my obvious lack of gratitude for the honour of speaking to him (“I see no Transcendence here – where’s the Transcendence?”), he pulled two cards for me from his deck of oracle cards that he pitched me to purchase, described  what I could clearly see was pictured on the cards, regaled me at length about his contact with a variety of famous people, and then uttered a self-satisfied, condescending “So, how’s that?”. As if he had kissed my bobo all better.

When he asked me at the beginning of the call how I was, I answered honestly, saying I was bouncing between states of ecstasy and heightened discomfort. When I returned the question, he said he was in a constant state of “Joy, Joy, Joy!”. Nothing in his demeanor supported that statement.

In the 20/20 of hindsight, I should have been prepared for this experience. A year or so ago, I wrote to the (white, male) organiser of this particular spiritual forum, wondering whether he really could not find any spiritual teachers who didn’t look like they came straight from Fox News.OK, I was more polite than that, but that’s what I meant. His reply: If we are the ones evolving, should we not be the ones teaching?

You see the implications of that, right? If you’re a person of colour, you may actually feel your response to it in the pit of your stomach, as I did. I filed this under “Yet Again” in my mind, but have continued to regularly scan the on-going forum, just in case…which is how I came across this latest Piece of Work. I know…I’ve called this experience into my life to bring up the emotions I’m now feeling….

You may have guessed that I’ve had it with being fed the notion that illumination is yet another perk of white privilege.

But it’s more than that. What I’m chewing on now is the dissonance between two ways of perceiving and dealing with the chaos of our world. For many of my friends and peers, it is imperative to focus on Positivity, with the understanding that where we concentrate our attention will form our realities. The Wolf We Choose to Feed, and all that… Yes, there is war, poverty, injustice, etc. going on, but as Souls we have all chosen our realities, and this world is but a stage, after all.  This often feels to me like stuffing your fingers in your ears and loudly singing “LALALALALA” with a smile on your face. The thing is, the people I know who are of this mind-set are all “white”, and don’t live their lives in constant contact with violence, poverty, and injustice.

Does the security of white privilege, of knowing you are better than all the other-coloured people of the world in such a visceral way that you can claim to be “colour-blind” and believe it, really give white folk the leisure of illumination?

When I think of all the earnest white faces offering to sell us their Transcendent Wisdom through video, audio, print and vibes, what strikes me most is the emphasis on Spirit, singular or plural. Angels, Spirit Guides, the White Brotherhood, Galactic Command, Star Brethren from Sirius, Andromeda, the Pleiades and so on…. The Earth is where we have come to live a life of trial and eventual transcendence, all the while aching to leave and go back Home to wherever the Hence we came from.

I’m likely more open and familiar than the general population with multi-dimensionality and off-planet contact. It’s not something I even question any more. But there’s a denigration of the Earth implied in most of this Spirit-focus that feels aligned with the suppression of the People who have lived close to Her, and it bugs the bejeezus out of me. That most of the world’s land-centric Peoples are non-Caucasian is the proverbial icing ….

(I say “most” because I am very conflictually aware that in my own family, it is my mother’s Irish-Scottish side that remained more land-based, while my father’s family seamlessly melded their Hindu (Brahmin) caste consciousness with English colonial values.)

Civilization, refinement, elegance and sophistication are vaunted qualities that are defined in opposition to primitiveness, crudeness, simplicity and intellectual ignorance. And the cream, as they say and believe, will float to the top. These are values that separate…that divide. On the other hand, compassion, trust, communion and consensus  unite us in the Circle, each individual valued for her place in the web of Being.

Positivity (come Hell or high water) and Spirit-focus, in a variety of pastel shades, seem to ascend hand-in-hand. There are, of course, legions of dusky-hued converts to a variety of religions for whom God is masculine, and the Earth, women and our bodies are sinful obstacles to our (re)union with the Divine. African preachers and Sami herders are also obvious exceptions to this generalisation, but I’m still stewing over it.

There seems to be a strong and growing belief that Humanity has ruptured into those who are choosing to evolve into higher frequencies and dimensions of existence, and those choosing to remain in the suffering of duality-based 3-dimensional reality. I just read someone’s comment that this is a time of separating the chaff from the wheat. Prophecy Rock of the Hopi, the biblical Book of Revelations…even the prophecies of Nostradamus, are cited as confirmation of this. Separation. Division.

Has the Bodhisattva Vow really gone the way of the dodo – collateral damage of an evolutionary split? Remember, the decision many of us made to stay incarnate on this Earth until Everyone was able to ascend/transcend/access a Christic state? “None of us is free if one of us is chained”, and all that?

If we are indeed evolving out of duality, we must have more than just these two options.

Alright. When in doubt, make a list 😉

  1. I believe that all Manifestation arises from one Source energy, and that therefore we are all flames of one Fire
  2. I believe that Humans and All of Our Relations whose bodies are created of the flesh of Earth/Gaia are a part of her evolution through Duality and back to Oneness
  3. I believe that we Humans have the capacity to wield the sword of free choice, but that precious few of us are aware of the extent to which we refuse to do so, being caught up in prefab identities determined by our ancestors and societies.
  4. I see Earth clearing and shifting, her body transforming in sure and often violent fashion, with human societies, cultures, nations, communities, families, and individual lives and bodies as concentric circles of the same fractal reality, experiencing the same transformative energies.
  5. I know there are many secretive forces around the planet that are invested in a prophesied timeline of apocalypse that is no longer valid, having been overturned when enough of the planetary consciousness rejected it. This investment in planetary destruction has been strategic and transgenerational, requiring such an immense quantity of resources that it is proving difficult to just let go of the whole idea.
  6. I am aware of inhabiting an interstitial space between races, cultures, dimensions and realities. I am called to midwife what are not always gentle births from one state to another, but always elevating in frequency. The last initiation I received was accompanied by a name that is difficult to translate into any languages I speak: it holds the energy of opalescent crystalline rainbow light, woven with that of a warrior. I was charged, as must be many others, with representing and supporting the Rainbow Nation of evolving humanity.

I get it. My mind is in a state that I now recognise, where all points of reference have dissolved and chaos reigns. I have to remind myself that from this confusing, blesséd non-dual state, the New can arise.

My heart is fine. I feel part of the rhythm of the natural world, of the Medicine Wheel, and know that we in the northern hemisphere are in the Southern Portal now, dealing with our wounded solar/masculine energies. I can feel that we are in a time of sorting and sifting, and that Mars retrograde until the end of the month is helping us become aware of what still irks and irritates, so we can let go of what we’re ready and able to release.

Today is the New Moon, after all, and a partial solar eclipse, challenging us to balance WE and ME. Not to choose, but rather to balance, to weave, and reclaim our potential for Oneness

Blesséd Be….











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